Being laid up on a couch fully reliant on others has been quite humbling to say the least. Being still has brought me closer to the Lord, and I hear Him quietly tell me, "I've got you, be content... there is nothing you can do to change these circumstances you are in. Time to listen to Me, seek Me, allow Me to lead You, and speak to you, and hear what I want to tell you....."
These are some of the things He has shared with me on the journey I felt led to share with you since it is changing my life for the better. By "falling" I fell more closely into Him during this down time.
My life verse is Galatians 5:25 "If we live in the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit."
The Holy Spirit gave me this verse as my life verse last July after getting re-dedicated at our church Rocky Peak in Chatsworth. Here I am today with a broken leg, on crutches... and every step I ask Him to keep me in step with His Spirit to get me where I need to go on my step-by-step journey to: the kitchen, living room, bed, bathroom, step-by-step. It is so interesting how this verse has taken on a whole new meaning in my "walk" these days.
I read the bible daily and ask the Holy Spirit to lead me where I should go to grow more into what He wants me to be for the day. Here are some verses that have been coming to me, and what the "life instruction manual" has to say about this brokenness I am in right now.
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in His way. Though He falls He shall not be utterly cast down for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37: 23 & 24
I must say I have had some pain, discomfort, and sleepless nights, yet I sense God's hand holding me up right now while I am laid out. It is a comfort beyond words. I am actually excited because I can sense from Him a movement in my core of what He is trying to teach & show me during this time of being still, quiet, and immobile. He is working on me from the inside out for His greater plan & purpose so I can do what He wants me to do. I just keep asking Him to reveal what that looks like and I sense Him leading me through the Word. He's been downloading more wisdom and knowledge into my head & heart, at His pace, to His destination for me... step by step. It is a pleasant, invigorating journey He's walking alongside me.
The week prior to the skating accident I wrote in my journal these words, " I praise You Father God for challenges in life, and trust You will grow me more into who You want me to be through struggles. Please humble & break me so I may see things as You want me to. I pray this with a contrite spirit as Your servant who loves You deeply."
Ironically, I was "literally" broken. The beauty is that through this brokenness I have grown more compassionate, aware, humbled, gracious, loving, appreciative, and in awe of people around me that have become the face of Jesus is so many different forms in a myriad number of ways. Literally this brokenness has led to beauty. Between meals coming every other day from family, friends, and acquaintances. Encouraging calls, texts, facebook outreach. Flowers, candy, care packages... I am just overloaded with love that I feel like I have a mission for the rest of my life to pay it forward in as many ways as possible. God is so good, and I honor, praise and love Him so much for showing up in so many people around me. It is heaven on earth right now in my life.
The Lord's Prayer is a prayer I have said, like many of you, since I was little. This passed week it has become "alive" to me in a bold way. Through brokenness my prayers are growing more bold holding on to the "promises" God makes in His living Bible. That Word is alive and the only Truth there is out there in this unpredictable, insecure, uncertain, random world out there. It is such a secure, peaceful, comforting, loving place to live inside my heart knowing God "has got me" in His hand. It is powerful through His Holy Spirit to pray daily.... "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".....in my life today God.... I INVITE YOU GOD to reign down HEAVEN on to my life... yes, my life, Joanne's life TODAY on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN!!!!! WHY settle for just what... the world provides??? I mean.. really? What does this world provide? Can any of these treasures compare to the treasures in heaven? Why not go "all out" and boldly ask Jesus to "bring it on!" Reign down... on earth as it is in YOUR HEAVEN God!!!!! Show me, show up, lead me, guide me, live in me, become alive inside me, so I can obey and lead the life YOU created me to live in??!!?!?! It is an AWESOME place to live, and be in life! Just awesome... I dare you to try it.... INVITE HEAVEN TO REIGN DOWN ON TO EARTH INTO YOUR LIFE... ask Jesus to bring Himself down into Your heart, and your life in fresh new ways to radically take over. What do you have to lose except.... your old self... the old ways of doing things you probably don't even want to do anymore. Life is so short....
One of the final verses that I have been musing lately is Matthew 16:19
"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
This verse I have been marinating in for a few weeks now. If I "hold on" to anything on earth too tight then God will hold His gifts in heaven from me.... WOW. What am I holding on to.... finances? pride? my spouse? my son? my life? my iPhone? 401k? house? my stuff? work? dreams? a certain routine? What do I need to loosen up on so God has the "freedom to fill me with more of His Kingdom in my life on earth?" What am I holding on to so tight and not letting go? Guilt? Perspectives? Judgements? Opinions? What is bound in me, that is also bound up in heaven because I refuse to... let go, and let God have it morph into His wisdom for me to understand in my life? It is a deep concept I have been dancing around with in my mind for a month, and working on shedding any unnecessary life-draining thoughts or ideas I need to let go.
Verse I'm standing in: Philippians 4:11-13 "I have learned in whatever state I am to be content. I know how to be abased , and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
It is pretty amazing how truly content I am learning to be in this state I am in right now thanks to Christ. I give thanks and praise and in that comes joy & contentment for all He provides.
Broken leads to beauty, and the outcome is surrender and obedience in Christ. That's where I am at, and growing more into as each day passes. It is interesting how I had to "fall to get closer to Jesus" through this broken leg. I also "fell on my tush at the gym and that is how I met my husband". Go figure. God is quite mysterious in His ways and means. I am just thankful for His ways even though I will not always understand Him. I will always trust Him, afterall He created me and knows what is best for me, and for us all.
O.k That totally ministered to my heart, Isn't it amazing how Jesus knows us breath to breath, the intimate communion you are partaking in is beautiful, I'm sorry it had to be a broken leg but how glorious it is to be intertwined with the creator of the universe.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop thing of Him, and how much He love us, I to am so thankful for His way as I press in and on ...
Tim:2 YOU therefore, my son be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, these entrust to the faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one that has enlisted him as a soldier. And so if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. The hard working farmer ought to be the first to receive his share of the crops. Consider what I say for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. Remember Jesus Christ risen from the dead, descendant of David, according to my gospel, for which i suffer hardship even to imprisonment as a criminal; but the word of God is not imprisoned. For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory. It is a trustworthy statement:
For if we died with Him, we shall also live with Him:
If we endure, we shall also reign with Him:
If we deny Him, he also will deny us:
Is we are faithless, He remains faithful: for he cannot deny himself.
press in... and know that you are so loved by the creator of the universe!
Hi Joanne: What a beautiful story. Very touching and true. It is evident that you were chosen to write this blog so that your story can minister to others...even those that may not know you. Praise God for his creativity, even if it had to come through a broken leg...ouch. Does this mean you will not be in Hawaii? I broke my 2 toes on my right foot 3 days ago and did crutches for 2 days...I am sore as heck from the crutches. I am not limping around in a special shoe as i cannot touch my toes without pain. Now that seems like nothing compared to what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your blog, you are such an inspiration to me. I have been in prayer that God would reign in me, in all I do. I just want to be and do what He wants. Your blog reminds me that without Him, we will not receive the fullness of life. Without Him, we are compromised.
So thank you, and I will continue to follow your story. Best of luck to you and I will pray for your complete healing Joanne.
Love you,
Joanie
I meant to say that I NOW limping around in a special shoe. In the post I wrote that I am NOT limping around in a specail shoe.
ReplyDeleteOOPS.
Joanne, I am so moved by your thoughts and God's inspirations. Please continue to write. I am challenged in so many of the same areas. I will begin praying for you and your journey and your healing.
ReplyDeleteHi Joanne,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing Jesus love with I. As I read your words I felt what God means, with: " You are all my children through my only begotten Son Jesus Christ."
This is in my heart; Feeling like a sister to you. A new family given from God to us believing in His Son Jesus Christ. Yes, You are my sister in Christ.
May God bless you richly.
Gigi