Humility - on our knees

"To learn humility is to learn contentment in all circumstances. Humility is not in what we own or achieve, but in maintaining a teachable attitude, a willingness to bend to the will of the Father." 

What better way to have a teachable attitude then to bend on our knees and submit to His will and purpose for our lives. Selling out, and giving up all "I think I need, want and desire" to what He wants, desires, and sees for me in this life on earth for His greater purpose. 

My husband Tim, and son Nicholas are at a father/son camp with a group of people at our church last night and coming back this afternoon. I had some awesome time with God this morning, and during that still quiet time I had a revelation that brought me to tears, and brings me to tears now musing in it.  I am not able to pray on my knees right now. This reality hit me like a ton of bricks praying. Since my broken leg I am not able to kneel. This reality left me with a broken, contrite, humble heart....  

This passed Christmas 2008 before bedtime Nicholas called Tim & I into his room. He said, "Mommy & Daddy, Let's get on our knees and pray in front of the cross I made at Sunday School before we go to bed." (the cross Nick made has the words obey & chores in the middle of it - two things he wants God to help him do) That night was an awesome beginning to many nights kneeling with Tim & Nick in his room before bed in prayer. We all would take turns and be thankful for our day, and give prayer requests to God together as family. Tim & I will never forget that Christmas night. 

For some reason in all the "shift & change & acclimating" to the new routine of this life style not being able to walk, and having to be laid up to heal from this broken leg it did not even dawn on me that I can not do what I love to do in prayer time alone, and with my family the most - humbly kneel before Father God. Kneel, face down, and just pray to God and thank Him for all He provides, ask Him to clean out my heart, and search me for any impurity so I can be used by Him for His greater good, repenting for sin I may or may not even realize I commit. 

There is something about getting flat out on my knees in submission to Him that is freeing, and surrendering.... if you have not done it, I encourage you to try it, if you do pray on your knees, which I know many of you do... you know what I am talking about . 

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He shall lift you up. 

Acts 20:19  - Serve the Lord with all humility

James 4:6 - God resists the proud , but gives grace to the humble

Is. 57:14 & 15-  Take the stumbling block out of the way of My people. For thus says the High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high & holy place , With him who has a humble and contrite spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the spirit of the contrite ones."  

What does this verse mean above I ask myself? It was revealed to me that Jesus has the contrite and humble spirit of all time, and sits with "the High & Lofty God of Heaven & Earth in heaven." The only way you & I can experience true "heaven on earth" in our life is to humbly ask with a contrite spirit for Jesus to come into our hearts and make us more like Him. Inviting Him in and saying... "How can I become more humble like you? Contrite in spirit like you? What do I need to confess in humility to you? Tell me, show me, how do I pray to you?" Ask, Ask Ask... is all it takes on our knees, humbly asking & inviting with all our hearts, souls & minds. 

I miss praying on my knees, and it brings me sorrow not to be able to do so, yet I am joyful because I know I will be able to one day soon! I encourage you to take advantage of the awesome gift you have to humbly praise, pray and repent, serve, ask, listen, be still on your knees to your daddy God who loves you more then anything or anyone on this earth. 

Have a blessed day...

Here is one of my favorite songs to pray on my knees in the morning. Soak in the words, and be still in Him. Allow Him to wash over you in all humility... 

CLICK HERE uTube - Here with Me - MercyMe (turn it up!)

Untamable Tongue

Tim & I started a bible study last night called "Pursuing God" headed up by our awesome Pastor Mike. The first assignment is to carve out 15-30 minutes of "quiet time" in your life for just God. No distraction - and commit to it for at least 5 days this week. 

For the passed two years I spend mornings with God before Tim & Nick wake up, and I read through the bible & journaled last year. This year He lead me to journal in more of a dyadic personal way. Needless to say, I went on this pilgrimage this morning to "seek Him" more fully in our walk together. For some of you reading this blog you may, or may not have any quiet time with the Lord, yet alone, even believe in God, but let me share with you...when, and if,  you do "pursue God" you will be attacked by the enemy. The enemy, being Satan, the dark prince of this world who wants nothing more then to derail any plans for you or me to get closer with God in quiet time, prayer and deepening a relationship with God. Satan hates you & me and has an agenda of his own for our lives to do his sinister, cunning work of evil through us by not obeying God. It is that simple. In saying this.... I was royally attacked this morning... in the process of seeking the Lord. 

As many of you know I currently have a broken leg and with that comes a further frustration of not being able to get around as quickly as I am used to, and learning how to walk all over again. Even though God has blessed me with a peace & sense of contentment I still have off moments. I also have a low-to- no tolerance for disrespect from our son because it is not honoring mom... more importantly it is not honoring God to disobey, or disrespect parent's authority in the Lord. This morning Nicholas was disrespectful to me, I disciplined him,  and Tim disagreed with me on the discipline so there was dissension between us... not good. Once Nick was off to camp, my tongue became a sword.... I said things I regret, I fell short, I was angry, and frustrated. I sinned. The enemy was working havoc through my tongue, and it was not a good thing. Once Tim & I cooled off, we are in the process of picking up the pieces, and I am doing my part repenting to God for my untamable tongue that went out of control with frustration. 

Going back to the Word I need to go back into the bible study, and God led me straight to James 3. Here is what it says, and is so powerful I felt led to write it out for you to consider, and read through so before you lose your cool like I did this morning, perhaps it will help you think before you speak like I wish I did... 

James 3: 1-18 

The Untamable Tongue

My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgement. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. 

See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. 

Heavenly Verses Demonic Wisdom

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy, and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. 

After reading James 3 and the iniquity God shares about the tongue, and that heavenly wisdom calls me to make peace, because He gives righteousness to those who make & seek peace. Through humility and a contrite spirit I will first ask God to forgive me, and then, eat crow, noooo kidding... go to my husband and ask for forgiveness with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind for my words that were not honoring or loving to God or to him. Thank God for His grace when we humbly go before Him and say, "I am sooo sorry I really blew it." What a relief to be forgiven by the highest Father God and let it go on to the cross. Thank you Jesus for Your gift. 

I also think about James, who was the younger half-brother of Jesus, son of Mary & Joseph,  who most likely wrote this book in the bible. I think about this whole passage and "how" James must have learned these tough lessons about the tongue from his "big brother Jesus" who never sinned??? Talk about an untamable tongue James must have had toward his big brother and the come backs Jesus would have to his little bro James! Whoa!  James did not come to believe Jesus was the son of God until after the resurrection... Growing up can't you hear James saying to Jesus, "Yeah right you are the Son of God!"  Imagine all the spiritual downloads James received once he came to the realization his big brother Jesus was indeed  - the Son of the God! I would love to be a fly on the wall at that moment the truth set into James' heart & soul. What a moment indeed. 

I think about my  own brother Michael  & I. We had many differences of opinion growing up, still do,  just as Jesus and James did. The difference is that James was a sinner like you and me, and Jesus was not - Jesus never sinned. James learned about the untamable tongue from  the one, almighty, all-powerful, most-high Father God that spoke to him as an "older brother" here on earth every day throughout his whole life! Now  THAT is an intense reality to wrap my head around. 

We are not to give blessings and curses with our tongue. The only way to attain wisdom from heaven is to pray for Jesus and His Holy Spirit to show us how to honor and love him in good conduct. We will always stumble. Thank goodness for His mercy to help pick us back up and show us how to try it again... and again... by humbly repenting, asking for forgiveness, and submitting our tongue back to Him and asking Him to speak through us... with His words of love & blessings. Only He can do it through us..

Off to make peace with my one true love, the one man I will love through the good & tough times, til death do us part. My one & only Timothy...    

Falling into You

Seems like longer then 4 weeks ago I took a fall at the roller rink and broke my leg. I can hear my mom's voice echoing in the back of my head when I realized I broke it, "Joanne slow down" She has been saying this to me for as long as I can remember. Her prayer was answered.

Being laid up on a couch fully reliant on others has been quite humbling to say the least. Being still has brought me closer to the Lord, and I hear Him quietly tell me, "I've got you, be content... there is nothing you can do to change these circumstances you are in. Time to listen to Me, seek Me, allow Me to lead You, and speak to you, and hear what I want to tell you....."

These are some of the things He has shared with me on the journey I felt led to share with you since it is changing my life for the better. By "falling" I fell more closely into Him during this down time.

My life verse is Galatians 5:25 "If we live in the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit."

The Holy Spirit gave me this verse as my life verse last July after getting re-dedicated at our church Rocky Peak in Chatsworth. Here I am today with a broken leg, on crutches... and every step I ask Him to keep me in step with His Spirit to get me where I need to go on my step-by-step journey to: the kitchen, living room, bed, bathroom, step-by-step. It is so interesting how this verse has taken on a whole new meaning in my "walk" these days.

I read the bible daily and ask the Holy Spirit to lead me where I should go to grow more into what He wants me to be for the day. Here are some verses that have been coming to me, and what the "life instruction manual" has to say about this brokenness I am in right now.

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in His way. Though He falls He shall not be utterly cast down for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37: 23 & 24

I must say I have had some pain, discomfort, and sleepless nights, yet I sense God's hand holding me up right now while I am laid out. It is a comfort beyond words. I am actually excited because I can sense from Him a movement in my core of what He is trying to teach & show me during this time of being still, quiet, and immobile. He is working on me from the inside out for His greater plan & purpose so I can do what He wants me to do. I just keep asking Him to reveal what that looks like and I sense Him leading me through the Word. He's been downloading more wisdom and knowledge into my head & heart, at His pace, to His destination for me... step by step. It is a pleasant, invigorating journey He's walking alongside me.

The week prior to the skating accident I wrote in my journal these words, " I praise You Father God for challenges in life, and trust You will grow me more into who You want me to be through struggles. Please humble & break me so I may see things as You want me to. I pray this with a contrite spirit as Your servant who loves You deeply."

Ironically, I was "literally" broken. The beauty is that through this brokenness I have grown more compassionate, aware, humbled, gracious, loving, appreciative, and in awe of people around me that have become the face of Jesus is so many different forms in a myriad number of ways. Literally this brokenness has led to beauty. Between meals coming every other day from family, friends, and acquaintances. Encouraging calls, texts, facebook outreach. Flowers, candy, care packages... I am just overloaded with love that I feel like I have a mission for the rest of my life to pay it forward in as many ways as possible. God is so good, and I honor, praise and love Him so much for showing up in so many people around me. It is heaven on earth right now in my life.

The Lord's Prayer is a prayer I have said, like many of you, since I was little. This passed week it has become "alive" to me in a bold way. Through brokenness my prayers are growing more bold holding on to the "promises" God makes in His living Bible. That Word is alive and the only Truth there is out there in this unpredictable, insecure, uncertain, random world out there. It is such a secure, peaceful, comforting, loving place to live inside my heart knowing God "has got me" in His hand. It is powerful through His Holy Spirit to pray daily.... "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".....in my life today God.... I INVITE YOU GOD to reign down HEAVEN on to my life... yes, my life, Joanne's life TODAY on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN!!!!! WHY settle for just what... the world provides??? I mean.. really? What does this world provide? Can any of these treasures compare to the treasures in heaven? Why not go "all out" and boldly ask Jesus to "bring it on!" Reign down... on earth as it is in YOUR HEAVEN God!!!!! Show me, show up, lead me, guide me, live in me, become alive inside me, so I can obey and lead the life YOU created me to live in??!!?!?! It is an AWESOME place to live, and be in life! Just awesome... I dare you to try it.... INVITE HEAVEN TO REIGN DOWN ON TO EARTH INTO YOUR LIFE... ask Jesus to bring Himself down into Your heart, and your life in fresh new ways to radically take over. What do you have to lose except.... your old self... the old ways of doing things you probably don't even want to do anymore. Life is so short....

One of the final verses that I have been musing lately is Matthew 16:19

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

This verse I have been marinating in for a few weeks now. If I "hold on" to anything on earth too tight then God will hold His gifts in heaven from me.... WOW. What am I holding on to.... finances? pride? my spouse? my son? my life? my iPhone? 401k? house? my stuff? work? dreams? a certain routine? What do I need to loosen up on so God has the "freedom to fill me with more of His Kingdom in my life on earth?" What am I holding on to so tight and not letting go? Guilt? Perspectives? Judgements? Opinions? What is bound in me, that is also bound up in heaven because I refuse to... let go, and let God have it morph into His wisdom for me to understand in my life? It is a deep concept I have been dancing around with in my mind for a month, and working on shedding any unnecessary life-draining thoughts or ideas I need to let go.

Verse I'm standing in: Philippians 4:11-13 "I have learned in whatever state I am to be content. I know how to be abased , and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It is pretty amazing how truly content I am learning to be in this state I am in right now thanks to Christ. I give thanks and praise and in that comes joy & contentment for all He provides.

Broken leads to beauty, and the outcome is surrender and obedience in Christ. That's where I am at, and growing more into as each day passes. It is interesting how I had to "fall to get closer to Jesus" through this broken leg. I also "fell on my tush at the gym and that is how I met my husband". Go figure. God is quite mysterious in His ways and means. I am just thankful for His ways even though I will not always understand Him. I will always trust Him, afterall He created me and knows what is best for me, and for us all.